A Priori Good Housekeeping: A Rule

It is a self-evident truth (meaning I can’t believe I fucking have to point this out) that:

If an object has no monetary value, and if that object has no sentimental value, and if that object has no utility value — if all three of these conditions are met; if you already own this object, you should throw it out. If you do not own such an object, but see one for sale, or for free at the side of the road, you should not purchase it, take it, accept it, or otherwise assume possession of it.

Also, it follows (not by strict logical rules, but by spousal fiat which is just as valid) that if a person encounters such an object, or any accumulation of such objects, in his1 residence, belonging to his spouse, and his spouse does not respond to requests to get rid of it, he has the right to dispose of it in any manner he sees fit. The offended spouse (the victim) may apply domestic discipline at his discretion to restore marital tranquility and balance to the Universe.

Summary of thoughts: Don’t keep shit just because.

Don't let this be your house. (Picture source: The Internet.)

Don’t let this be your house. (Picture source: The Internet.)


  1. Pronouns in this paragraph are not chosen at random.

Vacation Time

My wife finally took a week’s much deserved and needed vacation from her demanding job as chief bunker (fuel) buyer for a leading Greek shipping company. She has spent 100% of it (waking hours only, of course) swearing like an angry, drunken sailor under the hood of her 1996 Ford Ranger. Good times. Right up there with our early ’90s three-week trip to Izmir (formerly Smyrna of classical antiquity, currently ground zero for suicidal Syrian refugees launching the invasion of Europe) in Turkey, including a three-day excursion to historical Ephesus with its well preserved Roman ruins, walking – quite literally – in the footsteps of St Paul.

Ephesus, Turkey vacation ca 1994

Ephesus, Turkey vacation ca 1992.

Ford Ranger vacation 2015.

Ford Ranger vacation 2015.

Praise the Lord! Allahu Akbar!

Just a few weeks ago I was Charlie. Now I must also be Muath al-Kasasbeh.

I felt it on 9/11 2001.

I felt it on 7/22 2011.

I felt it on 12/14 2012.

I felt it again yesterday as I saw the headlines that ISIS had burned Jordanian pilot Muath al-Kasasbeh alive in a cage, filmed it in gruesome detail and posted the video on the Internet.

A visceral punch to the gut. A literal feeling of being sick. A despair and deep depression and sorrow when faced with the pure evil man is capable of.

I can’t shake it off. The image that intrudes upon my mind uninvited of the poor man trapped in a cage while the flames consume him. All the while a professional film team has their cameras trained on him to capture every agonizing second.

For our viewing pleasure.

I didn’t watch the video. I don’t need to. My imagination is quite vivid. Only now I wish it wasn’t.

My heart bleeds for his wife, his parents, his family. For mankind. I would cry if I could.

And then anger. Raging anger like I’ve never felt before. Right now, although I know intellectually it’s the wrong solution, I would support any measure to wipe the pest that is ISIS from existence. Bring out the heavy artillery. Bring out the bombs. If we could flatten Dresden, surely we can exterminate these animals. Bring out the napalm, the mustard gas; hell, bring out the tactical nukes!

Does anybody still doubt that Sam Harris was right when he said Islam is the mother lode of bad ideas? The terrorists quoted a specific chapter from the Koran that justified burning a man alive as punishment.

Fight any and all irrational ideas and dogma that are used to justify acts of terror. Put down the subhumans like the rabid dogs they are. The same goes for the silent enablers who, while not actually are physically taking part in the atrocities, approve in their hearts.

Death to Muhammad the Scumfuck. Piss be upon his name. The same goes for his followers.

I just needed to get that off my chest.

Muath al-Kasasbeh

Muath al-Kasasbeh, a true martyr. Not for Islam, but for humanity. Peace be upon his name.

Je Suis Charlie

I Am Charlie.

And if you are not, you are part of the problem.

asterix-je-suis-charlie

Fuck the prophet and his fanatical followers!

From The Richard Dawkins Foundation

Got this in my e-mail today:

Richard Dawkins Foundation for Reason & Science

Hi ,

The beginning of a year is a good time to look at the challenges ahead. And there will be plenty in 2015. This week we have three reports examining different lines of attack by the Religious Right in the United States and globally.

We offer a chilling examination of how the new GOP majority in Congress may try to punch holes in the wall between church and state. Also, read a short but thoughtful legal analysis of how last year’s disastrous Hobby Lobby decision may be followed by other efforts to expand religious exemptions in law, such as public officials trying to opt out of conducting gay marriages.

Internationally, conservative and religious groups are building cross-border alliances to counter gains made by the gay community. Just one chilling example: Russia’s Putin and the Orthodox church are funnelling money to sympathetic right-wing groups in Europe.

It is becoming more commonplace for non-believers to open meetings of city councils and other local government meetings with a nonreligious invocations. That doesn’t mean they are welcomed. Don’t miss the video of what happened in Lake Worth, Fla.

In news, the head of a public university in Alabama managed to turn a routine New Year’s video greeting to students into an insulting slam against atheists for somehow eroding democracy.

In science, we’ve marveled at the remarkable journey of the monarch butterflies during their annual migration. But if you’ve seen fewer of them in recent years, there’s a reason. The government may list them as officially endangered.

Robyn Blumner
Executive Director
Richard Dawkins Foundation

Support the fight of reason and rationality against ignorance, bigotry and stupidity.

 

Happy Good Friday!

Happy nail-God-incarnate-in-the-form-of-a-Jew-to-a-cross day. Good fun for the entire family!

As it turns out, getting nailed to a cross killed God dead, but don’t worry, he’ll be up and running again in three days’ time.

Holy fucking ghost,  Jesus was a chick magnet!

Jesus was a cjick magnet!

Enjoy Your Christmas/Holiday Turkey

I’m not advocating going complete vegan (although I tried it for roughly 6 months once, and I’ve never felt better), but there has to be a better way than this. Turkeys (and all sorts of animals and critters we raise, keep and slaughter for our own consumption) are God’s creation too. God gave us dominion over all creatures, in the air, on land, and in the sea (not really, but I’m using religious references for effect), and as such they deserve ethical treatment. There’s a right way and a wrong way to handle this responsibility. Whenever possible I urge you to avoid giving your money to the industrial food complex. If you require the flesh of dead animals for nutrition and sustenance and/or celebratory purposes, the least you can do is purchase your dead animals from someone who let them have a good life (for as long as it lasted) and then killed them in a humane way.

“Lying” By Sam Harris – A Quickie Review

Finally picked up Sam Harris’ “Kindle Single” (a short book/essay approx. 100 pages) “Lying” (not an affiliate link) and finished off the last few pages. I found the book to be unimpressive both in its main premise “Thou Shalt Not Lie”, and the reasoning for it.

A short quote: “Every lie is a direct assault upon the autonomy of those we lie to. And by lying to one person, we potentially spread falsehoods to many others – even entire societies.” Translated: “You should always tell the truth, not doing so might lead to dire consequences.”

Sort of like a butterfly effect of lies, almost; I tell a perfectly harmless white fib with the purest of intentions in Sandy Hook, CT, and a week later a textile sweatshop in Dhaka, Bangladesh comes crashing down killing hundreds.

The book is filled with silly examples and assertions that a bright 5th-grader could easily refute. Having watched a lot of Sam Harris on Youtube I had expected more. Considerably more.

Even assuming that people somehow have a reasonable expectation, or even a right, that I tell the the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth at any given time, this statement is nothing but hyperbolic dramaqueenery©. Denying me the right to lie whenever I’m in the mood is a direct assault on my autonomy (and also the 1st Amendment). Talk about a pompous bag of gas.Two thumbs down.

Hypothetical:
A German SS-Obersturmführer leads his entourage of armed soldiers, Schmeissers held tightly against their chests, from house to house in an Amsterdam neighborhood in November 1942. It’s dark, cold, and a steady drizzle of almost-freezing rain makes the cobblestone slippery under foot. The officer halts at a door and raps it with Aryan authority. A middle-aged woman eventually appears. “Entschuldigung for das inconvenience mein Frau, but hast du any illegal Juden hiding in your loft?” the officer demands.The woman, clearly afraid, stutters, but finally manages to reply in the negative: “No sir, no Jews here. No Jews at all.” The Obersturmführer bows stiffly at the waist as only SS officers do, tips his hat to the terrified woman, utters a polite “danke schön”, adjusts his eye patch, twirls around sharply on his heel and continues on to the next house in search for untermenschen to send off to the work camps in the East. Arbeit macht frei, usw., doncha know!

anne_frank

Lying, runaway Jewess. Picture credit: Bergen-Belsen work camp archives, from a production of “Glückliche Tage” (“Happy Days”) performed by the camp drama troupe.

What a fucking cunt that woman was, lying to the officer like that, knowing full well she had an entire family of Jew fugitives hiding upstairs. You just can’t trust anybody these days.

P.S. I find it much more interesting to read a review of a book, however short and incomplete and biased, thereby perhaps gaining some new insight, rather than just a statement that so-and-so has read such-and-such.

EDITED TO ADD: It appears that Anne Frank was posthumously baptized by the Mormons. Presumably this selfless act by the Latter Day Saints has led God to forgive her for lying and being a Jew, retrieved her from hell and put her in the Heavenly Witness Protection Program where she is now playing dodge ball with Jesus in an undisclosed Heavenly location (Heaven is a big place).

The True Spirit Of The Holidays

It’s called the Holiday (read: Christmas) Season, numbnuts. Love Jesus & spend money and shit. The only way to Heaven is by being a good consumer. Your choice: Spend like your life depends on it (and it does) or eternal damnation and suffering in Hell. Jesus loves you, but not for free. It’s called capitalism. You can’t have Christmas without Christ.