Category Archives: Bodybuilding & Fitness

Joe Rogan and Ronnie Coleman are full of shit!

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I can’t prove it, but something’s on fire and I’m pretty sure it’s Ronnie’s pants. While I’m not a Ronnie Coleman-type success story (obviously, and mainly, but not entirely, because of genetics; that part is true), I have been around gyms and the bodybuilding milieu longer than Ronnie has, and been part of, and observed, the “steroid scene” since the late 70s.

There’s an insane difference between what people took in the late 70s/early 80s and business-as-usual in the twenty-aughts. I’m pretty sure what Arnold took in an entire twelve-week prep to a Mr O was equal to or less than what Ronnie or any equivalent mass monster of his caliber/era coasted on on a weekly basis during downtime. Hell, late teens and twenty-somethings today with no ambition other than to impress girls and get laid are out-drugging the Champs of the Golden Era (defined as the time before the ascension of Dorian Yates). I also agree with the guy who commented that the best part was Joe feigning ignorance on the subject.

That said, I admire Ronnie Coleman and think he’s a legend of bodybuilding, but don’t be fooled; “Just the basic stuff, some test and d-ball” and quitting cold turkey between shows is BS. And by that I mean BULL. FUCKING. SHIT!

Mr Olympia 2015

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Published on: Sep 20, 2015 @ 01:16 AM EDST

1. Phil Heath (USA)

2. Dexter Jackson (USA)

3. Shawn Rhoden (USA)

4. Dennis Wolf (Germany)

5. Mamdouh “Big Ramy” Elssbiay (Egypt)

6. Branch Warren (USA)

7. Roelly Winklaar (Curacao)

8. William Bonac (Netherlands)

9. Victor Martinez (Dominican Republic)

10. Essa Obaid (UAE)

You heard it here first!

Top four competitors Mr Olympia 2015

Top four competitors Mr Olympia 2015. From left: Dennis Wolf, Dexter Jackson, Shawn Rhoden and Phil Heath.

I wouldn’t have objected to any of the top four winning. My personal favorite was Dennis Wolf.

Kai Greene apparently got too big for his britches and ended up not competing. Wasn’t banned. Just misoverestimated the size of his dick and shot himself in the foot. Google it for the rumors and conspiracy theories.

Here’s his sob story.

For the record, my opinion only: The Big O has been rigged from the very beginning in 1965 (not that Larry Scott didn’t deserve his two titles). The IFBB is a corrupt organization. But it’s what we have.

My Professional Home Gym Is Finally Gone

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Everything is gone, the entire home gym, save for the mirrors, and I have a semi-firm commitment from a guy that says he’ll come by and pick them up on Tuesday (election day, don’t forget!).

All the bars and bumper plates went to a guy who owns a strongman-themed gym in New London, CT. The power rack, leg press, large dumbbell set and other varia went to a male nurse (I think – not the maleness, I know the guy’s a dude, but him being a nurse) from Hartford, CT (you still need to pick up the rest of the dumbbells, Rob). The small dumbbell set and various plates went to a doctor from Shelton, CT. A cop from Massachusetts bought a pulldown/lat row machine. All the rest was just picked up by a Ghanese lawyer and his buddy currently living in MA who are buying up stuff left and right for a planned commercial gym in Accra, Ghana (I kid you not).

When all is said and done I figure I got the minimum I was willing to accept when I first advertised the home gym for sale back in August (not counting the damage to my garage caused by the Ghanese lawyer trying to back in a van that just wouldn’t fit), and I got figuratively raped on several occasions.

Thanks to everybody who came to my house whether you bought something or not, and to those who did, I hope the equipment will bring you joy and happiness and big muscles and stuff (a free banana for the first person who gets the reference). To those who made an appointment and never showed up: SUCK A BAG OF DICKS!

This marks the end of an era for me. At 54 (55 in a few weeks) I have abandoned all ambition of making any sort of comeback in the bodybuilding field. I’m just too fucking old and have too many injuries. Not to say that I’ll never work out again, but I have nothing left to prove. I’ll be content being a moderately fit senior citizen. There’s a new Edge Fitness location just a few miles down the road from where I live and I might just sign up. Even if I hate chain gyms.

Muscle Milk Contains No Milk, But…

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… includes milk protein.

HUH?

This is wrong on so many levels. Self-contradictory, much?

There's something wrong with this picture. See if you can spot it.

There’s something wrong with this picture. See if you can spot it.

Monster Sized Home Gym For The Serious Trainee For Sale

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Due to old age, poor health and general lack of motivation, the following semi-pro/pro gym equipment is for sale. You would definitely have the most badass gym on your street, or you could supplement your professional/commercial gym.

  • Dumbbell set #1: 15 – 140 pounds in 5-pound increments. ***SOLD***
  • Dumbbell set #2: 3 – 60 pounds on 10-pound increments. ***SOLD***
  • Rack that fits all dumbbells. ***SOLD***
  • 10 (ten) 45-pound olympic bumpers. ***SOLD***
  • 24 (twenty-four) 45-pound olympic steel plates. ***SOLD***
  • 4 (four) 35-pound olympic steel plates. ***SOLD***
  • 4 (four) 25-pound olympic steel plates. ***SOLD***
  • 10 (ten) 10-pound olympic steel plates. ***SOLD***
  • 8 (eight) 5-pound olympic steel plates. ***SOLD***
  • 4 (four) 2.5-pound olympic steel plates. ***SOLD***
  • 4 (four) 1.25-pound magnetic disc plates. ***SOLD***
  • Power rack w/ various attachments (see photos). ***SOLD***
  • Angled, counter-balanced Smith Machine. ***SOLD***
  • Selectorized lat pulldown/seated row machine. ***SOLD***
  • Plate loaded lat pulldown/seated row machine. ***SOLD***
  • Plate loaded upper body/chest/triceps machine. ***SOLD***
  • Plate loaded seated shoulder press/side lateral combo machine. ***SOLD***
  • Heavy duty plate loaded leg press machine. ***SOLD***
  • Plate loaded leg extension/leg curl combo machine. ***SOLD***
  • Selectorized bicep curl machine. ***SOLD***
  • Selectorized internal/external shoulder rotator machine. ***SOLD***
  • Adjustable incline/flat/decline bench. ***SOLD***
  • Flat bench. ***SOLD***
  • Seated straight-back bench w/foot supports. ***SOLD***
  • Sit-up bench. ***SOLD***
  • 2 (two) olympic plate racks. ***SOLD***
  • 1 (one) 7-foot Ivanko olympic bar. ***SOLD***
  • 1 (one) 7-foot cambered safety olympic squat. ***SOLD***
  • 1 (one) 7-foor olympic EZ curl bar (fits on power rack). ***SOLD***

All plate loaded machines are for olympic plates.

Also:

  • 3 (three) 6′ x’4′ thick (1/4″) mirrors w/beveled edges. ***SOLD***
  • 2 (two) 5′ x’4′ thick (1/4″) mirrors w/beveled edges.

(I’ll probably list the mirrors separately elsewhere.)

I would VERY MUCH prefer to sell everything in one go (and will give a very good deal in such a case), but will consider splitting up. I will NOT, however, sell a few plates here and a couple of dumbbells there. “Logical” chunks only.

Please understand that I’ve been a gym rat my entire life and know the value of this equipment. I am, however, a gentle and reasonable man and will consider any reasonable and sincere offers. Time to haggle!

Local pickup only: Zip 06482

 

Bodybuilding Is A Beauty Contest For Macho Pretty Boys

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I just had an epiphany that bodybuilding isn’t a sport, but a pageant in which you have to work hard as an athlete and take a lot of illegal performance enhancing drugs to succeed. How profoundly deep is that?

I know, some of you will probably protest my use of “Macho” and “Boys” in the heading, implying I’m sexist, and you would be right. Girls/women shouldn’t be bodybuilders; it ain’t sexy.

female bodybuilder

Each to his own, but this doesn’t rock my boat.

What The Hell Happened To Bodybuilding?

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I was browsing the Internet today and started comparing champs of yesteryear to the freakish monsters of today. Looking at the pictures it’s quite obvious that Arnold Schwarzenegger probably wouldn’t even qualify for the nationals today, and lining him up next to the alien monster freaks that currently grace the pro podiums, he looks like a ballet dancer. But he has something today’s champs don’t have: a waist that that doesn’t look like he’s eight months pregnant and shape and elegance; not just a massive chunk of veiny beef hooked up 24/7 to a Human Growth Hormone drip.

Here’s a pic of Arnold mid-to-late 70s.arnold schwarzenegger
Here’s Ronnie Coleman ca 2005(?).ronnie coleman

Who would you rather look like? In my not-so-humble opinion the sport has been ruined by excessive (I mean REALLY excessive) drug use, corporate exploitation and greed and going for grotesque size for the sake of grotesque size. The sport has taken a turn from being a sub-culture of physique perfection to a barely-human freak show. As much as I can’t help being blown away by the top names in the game today, it’s nothing I would ever pursue myself (not that I would have a chance anyway). The last Mr. Olympia that would qualify as a physique perfectionist and not a beef monster is Lee Haney.

Lee Haney, the last humanoid champ of a dead sport.lee haney
So there you have it. Like many things in life, the best of the best came out of the 70s. I know, I know; I can almost here you going “another old man yammering ‘everything was better when I was young'”. Well, it just so happens that sometimes it’s true. Personally (and it is my blog, so I can say whatever I want) I doubt I would include any pro after Lee Haney in my own private top-ten pantheon of all-time greats (although I admit to having irrational soft-spots for Dorian Yates and Markus Ruhl, perhaps because they’re so darn cute). It used to be that you had to win Mr Universe (World Championships today) to qualify for the Big O, but these days they seem to be handing out pro cards left and right. Without a steady flow of freaks, the business isn’t profitable.

Tom Platz – King Of Quads – Before And Now

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From a bygone era before excessive drug use, corporate greed, chain gyms and “personal trainers” (give them a wiiide berth) ruined the sport. Yeah, “the good old days”, I said it! Nobody has even come close to Tom Platz in quad development. Nobody ever will. Major inspiration. Was then. Is now. Always will be.

Even though there always has been a little bit of doping in the sport, at least since the mid-sixties, it was still a genuine sport and culture of body perfection. Lee Haney was the last “real” Mr Olympia. Everything since has been chemical freakoids more suited for a zoo exhibition or a horror movie than a gym or a bodybuilding podium.

Tom Platz then and now.

The good old days. Picture credit: Google image search.