A Priori Good Housekeeping: A Rule

It is a self-evident truth (meaning I can’t believe I fucking have to point this out) that:

If an object has no monetary value, and if that object has no sentimental value, and if that object has no utility value — if all three of these conditions are met; if you already own this object, you should throw it out. If you do not own such an object, but see one for sale, or for free at the side of the road, you should not purchase it, take it, accept it, or otherwise assume possession of it.

Also, it follows (not by strict logical rules, but by spousal fiat which is just as valid) that if a person encounters such an object, or any accumulation of such objects, in his1 residence, belonging to his spouse, and his spouse does not respond to requests to get rid of it, he has the right to dispose of it in any manner he sees fit. The offended spouse (the victim) may apply domestic discipline at his discretion to restore marital tranquility and balance to the Universe.

Summary of thoughts: Don’t keep shit just because.

Don't let this be your house. (Picture source: The Internet.)

Don’t let this be your house. (Picture source: The Internet.)


  1. Pronouns in this paragraph are not chosen at random.