My wife Marianne is 44 years old today. She’s not as good looking as she was when we first met, but I’d still hit it (if could find my Viagra). I have dirty pictures of her, but she said not to put them on the Internet or she would withhold sex for the rest of my life. How ’bout this bitch, if you can get it up, we can have sex any time you want. Happy birthday, sugar pumpkin!

Here’s a current picture. I know…