I don’t know why I’m bothering (it won’t make any difference anyway), but I found this in my in-box today and thought I’d share. The email originated from, an online retailer of ammo, ammo components and guns, mostly military surplus and used police lots. Feel free to pass this message on to the next guy.

For those who don’t know, the M1 Garand was the standard issue rifle for the US military, in production between 1936 and 1957. It is a fairly large rifle that holds 8 rounds in an internal magazine, semi-automatic without the ability to shoot full auto. Gun dealers import/re-import these military surplus rifles today and offer them to collectors and gun enthusiasts as a piece of American military curio and history. People buy these rifles for the same reason a stamp collector buys a rare or unusual stamp, or a numismatist a particular coin. This is not the gun of choice for your average criminal (or any criminal; it’s big, heavy, difficult to conceal, holds only eight rounds and takes long to re-load). Yet, the president  feels the need to act, you know, because of the children.

m1 garand

The legendary M1 Garand. You can’t have one.

I find it ironic that I receive this email on the same day they report yet another mass-shooting (13 casualties the last time I checked) in Chicago, no less, the president’s adopted home town where he served as a community organizer (I’m still not sure what that is). I’m willing to bet my left nut that the gun used was not an antique M1 Garand.

Anyway, the email I received asks me to sign a petition asking Obama to retract his executive order to ban the re-importation of a number of these rifles. I can tell you right away that the petition will have absolutely no effect, but if you want your voice to be heard (or at least noted and filed away in a database), you should go ahead.

Word of warning. You must register with in order to sign the petition, and you will automatically be added to their mailing list begging for money and donations. I’ve put them on my spam list.


Last week, the Obama Administration stopped the importation of M1 Garands, M1 Carbines and other U.S. produced curio & relic firearms through a “policy decision.” There were 84,000 M1 Garands almost ready to come in from Korea and President Obama stopped them with this order. UNREAL. PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS.

We are writing to you regarding the recent Executive Action by the Obama Administration, specifically the policy decision in which The White House stated:

“Today, the Administration is announcing a new policy of denying requests to bring military-grade firearms back into the United States to private entities with only a few exceptions such as for museums.  This new policy will help keep military-grade firearms off our streets.”

Based on this Executive Action the following petition should be signed:

American gun owners, collectors, dealers, distributors and retailers should sign the above online petition to The White House seeking reversal of President Barak Obama’s Executive Action against the importation into the United States of the WWII era U.S. M1 Garand rifles. The President’s recent decision will not allow the M1 Garand rifle to be imported into the United States. These firearms are highly sought after collectible guns and valued by U.S. veterans, sport and target shooters, and members of reenactment clubs devoted to bringing the History of World War II to life with public displays. These rifles are also used for participation in parades and  variety of other community activities. These are not modern military weapons such as machine guns, and present no public safety issue in America. Please sign the petition now and get your customers to do the same.

We thank you in advance for your support.

Breaking News! Assad Shown The Door By US Military

The United States Unilaterally Attacks Syria!

US conquer damascus

US troops proudly raising the flag of liberty over the smoldering ruins of Damascus. Stock image. Not intended to depict actual event.

Recently turned hawkish president Barack Obama grabbed his newly discovered sack yesterday and ordered a full on attack on Bashar al-Assad’s armed forces in an attempt to put an end to Syria’s bloody civil war.

Patriot missiles were launched from US warships in the Mediterranean leaving the Presidential Palace in Damascus (aka Syria’s White House) a smoldering ruin. The dictator’s whereabouts, or even if he is alive, is unknown at this point, a spokesman from the Pentagon reportedly said.

Simultaneous air strikes where carried out against all known depots of chemical weapons, fingers crossed and hoping that the raids won’t disperse the chemicals and make a bad situation even worse. The good news is that in such an eventuality no US pants will be on the ground and local civilians will just have to tough it out.

American fighter planes in a coordinated attack.also effectively grounded the Syrian air force in a massive strike taking out more than 90% of the dictator’s war planes.

In a speech just a few minutes ago President Obama said that America’s actions were legally and morally justified since the “international norm” post World War II is that you can’t carry out mass killings of a civilian population. This norm was established after the US targeted two large cities in Japan and dropped the only atomic bombs to ever be used in wartime on hundreds of thousands of designated civilian Japs. Less a crime of war, it was considered by American top brass, politicians and scientists as a lab experiment. A successful lab experiment; who’s gonna dare fuck with us now? Historians have long since vindicated Harry Truman. The legal council in the White House is in the process of drawing up a whitepaper legitimizing the president’s actions. He added that we will be greeted as liberators.

Both Russia and China have condemned the United States’ unilateral action in the UN and say that America has brought the entire region to the brink of a conflagration that may be impossible to put out. Iran’s president Hassan Rouhani says the Zionists in Washington have gone too far this time. The Iranian military has been mobilized and there are unconfirmed reports of nuclear missiles being aimed at Israel to “wipe the Zionist dogs off the map once and for all” coming from unnamed Iranian sources close to the clerical rulers. The American ambassador to the UN countered with a statement that America will take “all and every necessary precautions” to stop Iranian aggression. He finished his statement by saying “the US doesn’t need anybody’s stinking permission to do the whatever she wants”.

The long and arduous process of rebuilding Syria to a functioning democracy based on American principles of freedom and liberty will begin once the dust settles, Obama added, saying that thousands of US troops must be committed to the task possibly lasting over a decade or more, and billions of dollars will have to be spent. Using executive privilege he declared all civilian contracts non-bid and gave them to Halliburton and Blackwater who immediately subcontracted them to friends and family. He did not speculate as to the exact amount, but said the money presses at the Federal Reserve are in the process of being upgraded and overhauled, plans for quantitative easing on an unprecedented scale are being finalized and you can pretty much kiss any hopes of tax relief goodbye.

This is a breaking story and we will update as it develops. Not a word of it is true. Yet. Sit tight and don’t switch channels as I shake my magic snow globe.


A half hour ago EST Israel launched a pre-emptive nuclear strike against Iran’s capital city of Tehran.

What used to be Tehran.

What used to be Tehran.

Within minutes the Israeli launch was detected and Iran retaliated with a nuclear attack on Tel Aviv. Based on the half-life of weapons-grade Uranium, Israeli beaches in the area will be inaccessible for quite some time.

tel aviv nuke

Armageddon finally reaches the Holy Land in the form of a nuclear bomb from Iran

A guy down the road from where I live, on condition that we preserve his anonymity, commented hastily that America now seems to be caught between a rock and a really, fucking hard place, as he rushed to the store to buy ammo, beef jerky, bottled water and iodine tablets.


The Pope has declared that God has deemed that the situation in the Middle-East qualifies as the Rapture. If you are reading this message you are not one of the chosen. The Pope himself was also left behind and was later found having committed apparent suicide by hanging himself from the shower curtain rod in the papal bathroom while performing an act of auto-erotic asphyxiation.


The Antichrist is having a field day with us who are left behind. Earlier predictions that the boogey man would be Obama turned out to be inaccurate. The real Angel Of Darkness is now confirmed to be Donald Trump, as all signage on his properties abruptly changed from TRUMP to 666. Hell will be watching reruns of The Apprentice for all eternity