So it’s Super-Duper Tuesday, Wolf Blitzer and the rest of the 24-hour news cycle pundit-sphere (hey, I’m getting good at this!) are peeing their pants in pure excitement as the predictions, results and too-close-to-calls are starting to trickle in. Well I’ve got better things to do (scratch my ass/balls, pick my nose, masturbate, watch paint dry, organize my sock drawer, pull the wings off of flies, drown kittens, roofie & defile a teen…you know; important shit) and am quite happy to learn about the outcome on Who-Gives-A-Flying-Fuck Wednesday.
Mitt Romney got bitch-slapped in yesterday’s caucuses (cauci?)/primary in Missouri, Minnesota and Colorado. The most moderate GOP candidate yielded the stage to the most extreme and repulsive; Rick Santorum. Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul are nobodies (Ham and Smurf), hanging along for the ride. And Obama is all smiles.
So, tonight we find out who the next President of The United States of America will be. Buh-bye, Obama!
No? Oh, it’s the first in a series of GOP primaries to determine who Obama’s opponent will be in November.
Oh wait, it’s the latest (but, alas, not the last) act in that traveling freak show of liars, gangsters, corporate stooges and spineless fucktards who believe the world would be a better place if only he/she were in control. Never mind.