When I Was A Little Boy

When I was a little boy we didn’t have cable TV, and the TV we had was black and white. When I was a little boy there weren’t pedophiles lurking around every corner, so we walked to school. It was uphill both ways and the snow was always knee deep. When I was a little boy we didn’t have video games, so we went outside and played. With other kids. When I was a little boy we didn’t have Internet porn, so we had to learn about sex from Playboy and fumbling in the dark. When I was a little boy we didn’t have streaming Netflix, so we went to the movie theater. Today you can stand on top of Mount Everest and order pizza for takeout with your satellite phone, but it’s a fucking inconvenience if it takes more than 45 minutes to get it delivered.