Final Presidential Debate 2012: The Tranquilizer in Boca Raton

  • Can’t we all just get along?
  • China is bad!
  • I agree with everything the President has done, but I would have done it sooner and better.
  • The military had more horses in 1916.
  • Let’s take a step back and view the bigger picture that America can’t lead from behind if we don’t fix the economy and get really high paying jobs for everybody and Obama-care is repealed and we start loving Jesus more.

My opinion, as an independent observer, is that there is a chance that either Mittens or Obama will win, and it won’t much matter who.

Presidential Debate #2 2012: The Huff ‘N’ Puff In Hempstead, NY

It’s been a few days and I apologize for the delay in my punditry. It just goes to show my waning interest for the subject after 18 months of merciless onslaught from those who think the world would be a better place if they where elected to rule the rest of us.

BTW, I was born just a few towns over from Hempstead on Long Island in Glen Cove Community Hospital, so this debate was kinda personal for me. Not.

The consensus among us pundits seems to be that Obama came out the winner after suffering a near knockout two weeks ago and Romney came off as a bullying cocksucker. But make no mistake about it; it really doesn’t matter. Your life won’t change one way or another no matter who wins. They’re both trained monkeys doing the bidding of their masters. America has grown into a monster that can’t be controlled.

Despite what I’ve just said, here are my wishes for the upcoming “election” (note the very conscious use of quotation marks; your vote really doesn’t matter diddley squat, no matter what they taught you in civics class). I hope Romney jumps on the first space flight to rejoin his Father on Kolob (and stays there) and I hope Obama gets a second term, but just because he seems like a nicer guy. Either way, nothing’s gonna change.

So there you have it my friends. My prediction is that either Romney or Obama will win. Nothing will change. We will have about two years of respite before the circus starts again and America will sink ever deeper into decline towards an idiocracy and we will eventually become extinct because we watch so much reality TV that we forget to procreate

Presidential Debate 2012 #1: The Disaster In Denver

I think Romney violated one of his articles of faith and had some Red Bull before he went on stage last night. He may go to hell for it, but it paid off for him (in the short term, I don’t think he’ll enjoy hell). He looked energized, confident, even comfortable (for the first time in the entire campaign) and dominated the debate.

I don’t know what Obama had been drinking, maybe somebody slipped him a mickey; he looked unprepared, timid at times, and dazed by Mittens’ attacks. At first I thought maybe he was rope-a-doping, letting Willard tire himself out, but he never came off the ropes like Ali did, and the punishment continued. While it didn’t end in a KO, it was, in my expert opinion as a couch pundit, a victory for Romney. Not so much in content (Romney was his usual, lying self), but in performance, and that’s probably what matters most to a largely uninformed, ignorant and attention-span challenged electorate.

Oh yeah, Jim Lehrer just had to have his last moment of glory, but failed miserably. Instead of going out on a high-note, he fizzled out with a whimper. He was aiming for Greatest Moderator in history, instead he will be remembered as a doormat. Hubris will get you in the end